The Suicide Watch v1

by Heidi's Crazy CoLab

about

A girl on a farm, 7 young hip hop artists, a gaggle of music producers and a theme of suicide prevention...

A co-operation laboratory that shares the message 'it's ok to talk about suicide' through the melodic, sometimes haunting sounds of its young wordsmiths... ... more

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Track Name: SWV1 Intro - You're not alone (Cool Poindexter feat MC MJD & Jacob Brizzi)
If you thought about it and you hesitated
your only thinking that way because your frustrated
sick of being bullied by kids wearing hoodies?
they're only pickin on you because they're wrong fully
I promise that I will never turn a blind eye if you tell me that you wanna die
but I dont ever wanna have to hear those words in my life
or see that pain in your eyes
and I dont ever wanna have to say goodbye

keep your head held high dont try n escape
when you feel run down dont hide away
your not alone when you feel this way

we all wanna be loved
we all wanna be touched
we all wanna be something that I guess we're not

I guess thats just the way the world is
and the sooner the realize that, the better off you'll be kid
its ok to talk about the feelings that you have inside
even the ones that you thought you always had to hide
its hard sometimes to find motivation to do the hard work and live in dedication
you always think that your life is a vacation
then you get down when the world starts hating
Track Name: SWV1 All you need to do is talk (Renz Beats feat Hendo)
All you need to do is talk
_________________________

I kinda think that suicide is a way of giving up on life when you still have the chance to live.

He would wake up every morning all battered and bruised,
But still had a smile on his face trying to hide the pain,
And if anyone asked he would reply with I'm fine I'm okay,
And other people would say that he's crazy and insane,
But they didn't know what was going on in his brain,
Every night he remembers getting bashed from him own family from his own Dad,
Has to deal with kids at school bragging about the great parents that they have.
He would sit there trying to hold back his tears picturing his Dad in a drunken rage,
Throwing fists at his kid like it was just a game,
But the boy was scared and took it and done whatever his Dad says,
Tried everything he could just so he didn't get bashed again,
He has to tell the same lies of fake happiness every day,
Think of the stress and pressure on your life it must play.

He never talked to no one he never thought it would help.

He thought he was living a life so similar to hell,
He was scared to talk and didn't think anything could help,
Suffering severe depression but he kept to himself,
He thought he was stuck in a world alone,
There were always friends there but the help was never shown,
He could of made it out but now he'll never know.

He gave up on life by hanging from a rope, the boy just couldn't cope.

(Chorus x 2)
I want you to know that life is short,
And if you're feeling down all you need to do is talk,
When you're feeling low we can climb back up,
Don't say goodbye coz your times not up.

All it takes is to let out your emotions,
Before depression takes a hold and starts to rip you open,
Don't be scared to let it out you'll feel better once you've spoken,
I know your world probably feels like it's kinda broken,
And you feel like your stuck with no way to escape,
Like you're hating this place,
But you can make it okay,
Just look to your heart,
And we can push for a new start,
I know that once your in that rut getting out is hard,
But I promise that the future will be better than the past,
I'll be honest I don't know if the recovery will be fast,
But I know that getting help is the best way to start.

(Chorus x 1)
I want you to know that life is short,
And if you're feeling down all you need to do is talk,
When you're feeling low we can climb back up,
Don't say goodbye coz you're time's not up.

Like I said all you need to do is talk
If you're scared to talk to people you know there's always help lines and stuff - check 'em out!
Track Name: SWV1 Inner Tyranny (Renz Beats feat Pyxidata)
VERSE 1
stuck in a rut no clue what to do
lost my path en route to who i wanna be
tarried by the heavy baggage carrying
im shouldering the worlds weight head full o harrowing
thoughts disparaging talk no courage anymore
taught myself expect the worst i deserved i thought
self deceipt by self belief complex inferiority
slave to inner tyranny no longer prone to harmony
unaware my fair share creating our reality
the hardening perception limiting ability to see
beyond three dee alone in suffering
feeling like only one to ever take a buffeting
never the freind to me i need to be more an enemy
a total lost cause i thought it all was
anxiety reigned supreme and defining my days
life's a scary place when you never feel safe

so believe me when i say

HOOK
i know its tough in the doldrums of the mind
i know its rough when yourself you cant find
let alone love or like or see the beauty in life
when darkness pervades all hides the light

i know its tough in the doldrums of the mind
i know its rough when yourself you cant find
let alone love or like or see the beauty in life
when darkness pervades all hides the light


VERSE 2
been down so doggone low ive wanted life to end
no longer would i have to listen to hectic head
id go to sleep wishing a new day wouldnt start
to depart the remains so charred by the blaze

crazy self aversion made felt like vermin
desperation for zen my heavy burden
tried to escape myself fly from my ruminating mind
didnt know my power to leave the past behind

on a downward spiral and feeling like a ruiner
everything i did or said was never good enough
to me my harshest critic, enemy heavy
thoughts the weaponry killing lifes melody

after years of destruction rage and rejection
learned to manage my mind love my reflection
i changed my attitude i changed my direction
view with gratitude the sum of my lessons

i feel so blessed to still be walking here
on this green earth amongst all i hold dear
amazed ive survived my attempts on my life
took trying suicide to make me wanna stay alive

HOOK
i know its tough in the doldrums of the mind
i know its rough when yourself you cant find
let alone love or like or see the beauty in life
when darkness pervades all and hides the light

i know its tough in the doldrums of your mind
i know its rough when your doing mental time
surviving suicide has shown purpose of my life
and how much we create with power of the mind
Track Name: SWV1 You are who you are (Cool Poindexter feat MC MJD)
I cant be the only one to think this
why is the whole wide world against me stuff this
I swear I'm gonna get out of here
I'm gonna pack a few things, write a note n then I'll disappear
I'm gonna get out of everyones hair,
not say goodbye to a soul and I wont even care
I dont need them all I need is food and cloths to wear
I'll find a place to sleep, now I'm living in a nightmare
why is it whenever I look up in the sky, all I think about is how much I wanna die?
so I can be taken away to a better place
where the girls where nothing but a shoe-lace
you might think I'm kidding but I'm being serious
I cant think of anything worse than living life like this
I dont know if its all in my head
but I cant help it man sometimes I just wish I was dead

so sometimes when I look around
walkin or drivin around my home town
I cant help but to think what these people think of me
even tho I know they know me but they judge me
it doesnt even seem to phase them at all
always lookin down on me like they're 10 foot tall
making me feel smaller than I already am
I gotta try to ignore them as much as I can
I can feel me self-esteem going down the drain
it doesnt hurt that much I thought I'd be in more pain
I started to think that I'm going a little insane
cos I nearly bought a gun so I could blow my head away
but lucky for my mum I couldn't afford it
cos if she didnt want me she woulda had an abortion
and untill life can cut me some slack
I'll put a knife to arm n hack until my arms fade to black

dont be stupid matt, dont do that
theres more to life than being all that
dont be stupid matt, dont do that
you are who you are and there is not a thing wrong with that

when I think about it my life isnt that bad
theres a lot of people that had less than I had
n most of them turn out to be confident and strong
it makes me wanna write it all down n put it into a song
n now I'm thinking how cool it would be if people liked it
or even if one person in the world could relate to it
I guess that would give me a sense of belong
and it would feel so good that I'd go n write some more songs

until I'm playing to sold out shows
I dont need a house, my tour bus is my home
n now my family is spread across the country
but they're just my fans that are showing love for me daily
n now I feel like I know who I am
n thats a good feeling that I've never ever had man
I hope that it never leaves my soul
n now I'm hoping that I get a chance to grow old
so eventually when I die from old age
I can die a happy man n proud of my name
leave a legacy that goes down in history
thats what I found in this life is belief in me
Track Name: Bonus track 'Infinity' (Chance Waters produced by One Above)
All Life began as a blank canvas,
In a void where the math dances; in a figure eight;
On the borders of infinity, where divinity is simply fate,
And questions are answers;

All was born in that instant;
When an unresolved sum ran its course as an infant;
A bright light where the end of the tunnel,
Was the start of the road, but you blinked and you missed it;

Before time had a name, or life had a face;
When everybody shared that place;
Before all that we know was let loose from its chains,
Pandora’s box can’t be closed again;

Every particle of energy in me and you,
Love and hate, and every eye we see it through;
Every piece and part of me, every key and harmony;
Is woven from the start of things and singing this tune;

And there is no justice there is only life and death;
But if that’s so there is no substance, and all that we know is a lie at best;
But there is no justice there is only time and space,
And if that’s so there’s no control and all that we see with our eyes is fake;

Our lives pass in the blink of an eye,
Or the twinkle of one glint of one star in the sky,
We were born of dust and torn fragments,
Storm fronts and magmar our hearts and minds;

I don’t know if there’s a grand design,
Are we phantom dice, and god the gambling type?
Are we just one more stop for the hands of time?
Or here with a reason and man divine?

If it all boils down to the collision of atoms;
Can we act as if it matters that we black the skies?
If everything we do is just a stitch in the pattern,
Then choice is an illusion in the map of our lives; and

I don’t know if I can stand to try;
To make sense of life if I believe that’s right;
I see it all around me, infinity surrounds me,
What if I never found peace, what if I wasn't free to die

And there is no justice there is only life and death;
But if that’s so there is no substance, and all that we know is a lie at best;
But there is no justice there is only time and space,
And if that’s so there’s no control and all that we see with our eyes is fake;

Do you really even understand infinity?
It never ends it is all that you live and breathe;
Do you really even understand infinity?
It never ends it is all that you live and breathe;
Do you really even understand infinity?
It never ends it is all that you live and breathe;
Do you really even understand infinity?
It never ends, it never ends;

And there is no justice there is only life and death;
But if that’s so there is no substance, and all that we know is a lie at best;
But there is no justice there is only time and space,
And if that’s so there’s no control and all that we see with our eyes is fake;